Birthday

For me, birthday is scary things... I don't know it's about counting up or counting down.

Today is my mom's birthday. And she asked me why I give the 3 little candles. And all day she's talking " I add another year "

Actually I hate the concept of numbering candles top of cake. It's stupid and scary.
And I can't bear that birthday means you get older and near death.

And mostly I got emotionally when my dad n m mom got birthday....
If I could cry for the thing on my mind that scary the hell out of me...

Mom, Dad, I love you


Today monologue from Ms. Deejay

IT'S HARD TO THANKFUL

Recently I was glad to be settled and enough for my self financially and starting to clean up mess. With quite raise and lotta side jobs, I thankful because I need to catch my deadline to go Europe this year.

Europe is my goal this year.

But I don't know about my feeling, that in this time too I have lot responsibility that should be done myself. I called it The Adult monthly expenses.

I was thankful, when my car was crap, It was on a pay day. I thank that I had money. But in my heart I was happy that money should be a plus for an addition.

I was glad I got an apartment. But unfortunately I have to pay the monthly services.
Maybe sometimes I'm an unthankful person, But I'm a human. It's natural when the time u grace, you have to let it go.

Learn to thankful it's hard. I learn to thankful of average. Let my little heart was broken, but I never tired to keep up.

Today monologue from Ms. Deejay

HOW WE SAY GREETINGS IN AIDS DAY???

Today, a baby born with HIV. The mother was died and the father is dying. The born is commemorating the AIDS day. What's an ironic, isn't it???

Maybe we are blind or pretend not to see, but we actually face that AIDS epidemic is happening in our world, not exclude Indonesia. The country who belief that religiousness is becoming guide of lifestyle is facing the worst iceberg they didn't even notice. What happen in Africa is happening here.

I won't be surprise if now, everyday a baby is born in HIV in Papua. Or wifes in Jakarta and other districts having baby with AIDS without knowing that infected by unfaitful husband, Or lot's of drug user that even we notice under the white collar.

What should we do for the world???

Today monologue from Ms. Deejay

So who are you??? bitchy girlfriend??? or sissy boyfriend??

I had a friend whose boyfriend we called "his driver", we called that coz everywhere we go, he took her, drop her, picked up her, drove her there, drove her here.

And there's our other friend who is boss in home and the husband is look like maid coz he 'yes man' and do what his wife said.

And other friend who look like a sister to her boyfriend, not older but act older.

And other friend who act like babysit her boyfriend. Go everywhere, wipe the sweat after basketball, serve the dish when in restaurant, get him drink, get him that, get him everything he want.

Is it love, dedication, or professionification????

We always refer a status together with other status and all suddenly got segmented.
Are you a mad girlfriend, or are you bossy friend or are you possessive boyfriend??

Can't we just say girlfriend, boyfriend, etc???

When we face a couple of parents, oftenly we asked, " who is a bad cop and who is the good cop??"
And some answers mom as bad cop and dad is a bad cop or reverse

or if we found couple gay, who is the male one and the female??

We knew that all that status is based on character and attitude we are, but what actually attitude that refer to "basic status" like wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend???

So who are you??? bitchy girlfriend??? or sissy boyfriend??




Today monologue from Ms. Deejay

Everyone is a judge

Ramadhan is a holy month for moslems. A 30 days of hold hunger, thirst, anger and lust. We in a mostly moslem citizen have to accept and tolerance that lots of entertainment places are close in honor this month. Club, karaoke, or restaurant are closed or start open at night.

In this month we, other religion should tolerance about the duty of fasting. Why they don't tolerance of us who is minority of not doing fast?

from what side we judge?

The one thing is always there is an organization who named itself as front defense islam go door to door to check if any entertainment places are open or there are any inappropriate behaviour during the fasting.

Not rare we saw at the TV, they make some discotheque in damage or, raid hotels and find couples doing sex while Ramadhan.

the disturbing behaviour of raid make the society judge that organization is brutal and anarchist.

Don't they (this organization) see why we judge that???

This an other story. My family have a rent house. When we got guest of a foreigner (caucasian), my parents are excited. but when find out people who rent is africans, they are worried.

In Jakarta, lots of African is suspected as drug dealer.
Are we wrong to judge them all that way??

What is the rule of judge or what is the game rule?
Is one action of one member affect the group it self?
Is freedom of opinion same as freedom of judge?
Is judge as bad as like this?

And everybody is good at judging don't they???

Today monologue from Ms. Deejay

Thank God we are not born in stripped

I Always ask stupid questions to my Mom. Like when a Caucasian having a child with an Africa, why the skin isn't becoming strips or dots or dapple like cats?

Or I wondering maybe the Sun that super hot in Land of Africa that makes African so black. And is the African people feels always hotter under the sun like we when having a black shirt under the sunny day???

And if we could transplant the good thing from plants and animal to produce prime product, what happen if we could collect out good thing and our spouse to make a baby... are the world would be much moreee great???

It's a stupid question and I don't know why I never question that when a little girl??? It's suppose like kid's shocking pop question.

Hahahahah maybe that's the effect of late drinking formula milk that contain DHA and super smart think from commercial for baby and kids.




Today monologue from Ms. Deejay

MARRIAGE PLANNER

Once I read a twit from a famous radio broadcaster, "I think somebody has to restructure women's mind. They have always wanted a dream wedding. When they should be wanting a dream marriage :)"

Last October maybe was a lucky or good month. A lots of weddings and births. Counted almost every week, I was attending the wedding.

There was a funny story from one of them is my next cubical friend. The last 8 months of her life is busy with her wedding preparation activity. The thing that's bothering me, that she couldn't answer my question about her life after the 'I do' Day.

People are plan for their perfect wedding, do they planning their marriage life?

Where is they going to live after? How long they should pay the credit from the wedding dash? How long they should save to buy a house? Should they live with the in law? When is the perfect time to have children? How much the husband money? Should the wife quit the job? Can the husband afford the family life? What should the new wife do in early marriage? bla bla bla other thing...

The 'I do' Day isn't the peak event of people life. as I say the day after.... except after your wedding is an armageddon. that's too bad.

The stigma of women thinking of perfect wedding, much and less affect the men is worrying about it.

Hear a desperate sharing from friend's friend of mine, about his worry of his girlfriend "We should get married" ultimatum. It's one the example. The man is worry because "I'm not stable yet", " I'm not afford yet for the wedding party", " I don't want to wedd with our parent's money" and else...

Beside the mentally 'I'm not ready for this step', there are culture sight about the worries
1. Singles in Indonesia mostly live with the parents
2. Recently the bride and groom to be are amateur jobber with less or approximately 60.000K/year.
3. The fact, most of Indonesian wedding is paid by parents.
4. Indonesian family is big. It means when you wedding, hell's come invites. Plus if you are businessmen or family does, wedding means promotion or gathering.
5. People here gives money rather than gift. Believe that it's more worth than gifts has change the function of wedding to commercial.
6. The prestige is high, the large wedding u got, the high appreciate you got. but trust me it's forgotten. People don't remember the wedding but them.

So I wonder myself why should people spend almost trillion for one day party with most of them don't known personally in their special day, that have been prepared stressly almost year?

And I don't surprise day by day the number of divorce is high-ing. People plan their wedding not their marriage life.

(This is too precious to trash, I moved it from my old blog)
Today monologue from Ms. Deejay